Tuesday, February 19, 2013

On Turning 50...

Today is my 50th Birthday. To be honest, I have no idea how I got here. Seems like just last year I was 16. And I thought 50 year old women were OLD. Funny how your perspective changes when you're the one that's suddenly 50.

I'm not too proud to admit that this landmark birthday has bothered me. As it loomed closer, I found myself in a tailspin. I wasn't looking at this as a good thing at all, but rather the beginning of the end. I had all of these things I wanted to do and time was running out. I think I even gave up a bit, feeling overwhelmed and having my own little pity party.

But then, I decided to change all of that. I needed to challenge myself. Find things that would make me feel more alive than ever before. Step out of my comfort zone and take the chance of failing knowing that if there was anything I had learned in the past 50 years, it was that I was fully capable of picking myself up, dusting myself off and getting on with getting on.

So this is what I did. I wrote a list of 50 things I would like to do/see/accomplish/conquer/experience in my 50th year. From January 1st of this year to February 19th of next, I am going to challenge myself to make my life a richer experience. I'm excited about it. So excited that I've told several people my plan. And I've had two negative comments that have made my resolve even deeper. "Pretty ambitious aren't you? (Said with a smirk and that look that said she thought I was full of beans) and "Well, that will never happen" when I said that I had plans of being a writer and eventually being able to leave my day job.  (And this from someone who has never read a single thing I've written. So really, how in the world would she know?!)

Now normally, I take those comments to heart somehow thinking that these people must see something in me that I don't and that they must know better than I do that I won't succeed. But there's just something about turning that magic age of 50 that makes me think that I can do anything I want to and the only person that has to believe it is ME. And I do believe it.

So, back to my list. The 50 things that are on my list are are a huge random mix. Big things, little things and things that wouldn't mean a thing to anyone but me. And, only a month and a half into my venture, I've managed to mark several things off that list. One of my biggest was my goal of getting 50,000 views on this blog. I thought it would take a while, but one morning I woke up to find that one of my posts was picked up by a larger site and by January 29th I hit that goal. And since then have far exceeded it. Other things I've marked off? Visit San Francisco, go over the Golden Gate, see a real orange tree, road trip with my youngest son...feels so good mark them off my list and treasure the experience of each of them.

I'm looking forward to my 50th year and the years to follow. I haven't shaken the feeling of time running out, but somehow I think that's a good thing. It's made me step out and do things NOW. I'm not waiting any longer and I'm not going to be afraid to take off on an adventure. I refuse to let the opinion of someone who doesn't know a thing about me color my passion and desire to be a writer. I feel free to do and be what I want. And that feeling of adventure and freedom more than make up for the wrinkles, gray hair and jowls that have marked my 50th year!

Feeling very blessed and loved on this beautiful birthday,

1 comment:

  1. I'm excited for this year for you. I am very proud of the amazingly talented and beautiful woman you are. You are more then capable. Praying every dream you have becomes reality. I love you and remember the wise words of Wayne Getszki, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"


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